Far2Paranoid: Knew this guy in HS Far2Paranoid: Built a box with 2x 350Mhz Pentium2, back in '98 Far2Paranoid: The trick was, filled his bathtub w/ glycerin Far2Paranoid: Took apart a mini-fridge and used the coils to cool the glycerin to ~40F Far2Paranoid: Then sunk the box so he could OC the CPUs to 1.3Ghz Far2Paranoid: Coolest shit I've ever seen. AlbinoChpmnk: If this was sitting in his tub, how did he shower? Far2Paranoid: After what I just said, what makes you think he showered?
<kw> I tried to download a chick flick once, but none of the packets had any sense of direction
<Redden> you know what you shouldn't take on planes? <Sealab> Leslie Nielson? <Bagel> Box Cutters? <Dodge> William Shatners? <Scotty> Gameboys? <DotTom> Babies? <The Amazing Rando> Wesley Snipes? <seander> Flaming torches? <Gib Yob> Vials of smallpox? <Kelvin> Zombies? <Tomuber> Mutha fuckin snakes?
<Adolla> oh dear I ate too many broken gingerbread men <Supel> not broken, alternatively configured, please <Adolla> and the burned ones can't be given out they have to be eaten <Supel> *alternatively carbonised <Supel> *gingerbread people <Supel> actually, ginger can be offensive <Adolla> sorry, gingerbread people <Supel> *funnyshapedrootspicepeople
<xsphere> dude, josh was struck by a genius yesterday <xsphere> it's fo funny you wouldn't believe man <xsphere> so we're walking down the street right <xsphere> and out of nowhere comes this black kid running <xsphere> and one of those rent-a-coppers chasing him <xsphere> as he's passing by josh sticks his foot up and trips him <xsphere> turns over to me <xsphere> and with an oscar deserving dead pan face says <xsphere> "another one fucked by the NPCs" <xsphere> hahaha
<JayQue> britneys sister is pregnant <madbox> orly? <Quazgaa> vaginally, would be my guess
evilada: damn girls are too confusing about what they want from guys lantern: Well they certainly know what they dont want lantern: see now i'm tall, but not athletic, i don't have a full head of hair lantern: so bam three strikes evilada: girls dont work like baseball evilada: if they did, everyone would cheer if you stole second base when no one was looking evilada: and thats the complete opposite of what happens, trust me
* Woussie is now known as You * You have been disconnected from the server. Please reconnect. * [Roy] has quit IRC (Read error: EOF from client) * Blue_Dark has quit IRC (Read error: EOF from client) * Blue_Dark has joined #RSR <You> xD * [Roy]|f2p_again has joined #RSR
<Ace073> wtf <Ace073> i was just watching australia idol and they called it 'straya nidol' <Ace073> wtf!! <Ace073> why perpetuate the idea that we're hillbillies? <Ace073> freakin south africa doesnt come on tv and say 'BLACK PEEPLE GTFO' <Montana> Dude, thats so gay. <Ace073> i know.. why dont we just rename the stupid continent Straya >_< <Montana> No <Montana> I mean <Montana> You watch Australia Idol
<komputes> I'm on a unix based operating system which means i get laid as many times as I have to restart my computer <marky-b> same, but i run windows
(@Dreki) I just realized something. (@Dreki) A is the 1st letter of the alphabet and H is the 8th letter, right? (@Dreki) 9/11=0.8181818181=HAHAHAHA.
<Corrupte> My friend's a fag he tried this dating servivce <Corrupte> and found a girl that was like 20 years old, blonde, mature and had big tits <Corrupte> Foolishly he went out wit a girl with no picture <Corrupte> But she was actually 20 and had was blodne and shit <jason> why is he fag then <Corrupte> She was born on a leap year
<Greg> Statistically speaking, there are two popes per square kilometer in Vatican City...
babygrl168572: oh so ur kalling me ignent i see MeatCutterDrummer: I don't think I need to after that statement
<Montana> yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW <Dauntless> ... LOL <Montana> omg here we go <Dauntless> Can you say bash.org? <Montana> why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers. <Montana> Screw this <Montana> If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth: <Montana> MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE <Montana> OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it. <Montana> I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/ NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself: <Montana> ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING! <Montana> Now for the topic of sex: <Montana> I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK! <Montana> Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity. <Montana> Hmm <Montana> I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction! <Montana> OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn. <Montana> </end rant> <Montana> Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb <Dauntless> o_o
<Geekzilla> "Ah. I see here you were a Geek Squad Special Agent" <Geekzilla> "Yes, sir. Three years in the field. I was quite good at my job" <Geekzilla> "I see. Well, thanks for coming in to interview, unfortunately we have no need for your services" <Geekzilla> "But... but I thought you said you needed an experienced, talented IT tech?!" <Geekzilla> "Exactly. Good luck in your job search"
<dubkat> i just ran a traceroute from me, to my my box at my sisters house. it travels the frackin east cost before arriving. <dubkat> rediculous. (she only lives up the street) <hohum> dubkat: I'd like to see a traceroute like that <hohum> I want to be fondly reminded of my days of using NTT/ Verio as a transit provider <hohum> them cats were like an ISP chop shop <hohum> they steal your ISP, chop it up and bolt it on to some shitty souped up japanese hosting company
<Avery> I called AOL tech support once <Avery> I was hungover <Avery> and couldn't find my pants <Avery> so I called them <Avery> the lady told me to look under the kitchen table <Avery> andthere they were <Avery> how she knew that is beyond me
<TB> I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line. <TB> I reached a call center in Pakistan. <TB> I told them I was suicidal. <TB> They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck
ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you something cyph33r: what cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf ruide: haha cyph33r: what did you want to show me ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to ruide: bubblegal_14 cyph33r: wtf cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight asshole cyph33r: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT YOU KNOW THAT cyph33r: I FUCKING HATE YOU ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it right? cyph33r: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
CaptainMoonpie2: Working on a report CaptainMoonpie2: Tell me why welfare is bad CaptainMoonpie2: But in a really, really long explanation that is easy to copy and paste IMADV82: Because people like me end up paying for people like your mom to raise people like you.
<Aenima> if i close my thighs forever......... will it all the remain the same?????????? <Alerik> nope..someone will use a pry bar when you hit the morgue
<+DethFromAbove> rmuser she is not ugly <+DethFromAbove> she is fat yeah <+DethFromAbove> but I saw past that <+DethFromAbove> I don't know what to call that <+DethFromAbove> I'm not sure if it's love or what <@rmuser> gravitational lensing
Seppukakke: You know, in the Old Testament, God was full of Wroth and Vengeance. You did bad stuff, he rained brimstone down on your ungrateful ass or harrassed your people with 7 plagues. Seppukakke: In the New Testament, its like he has turned over a new leaf, you don't hear some much of the nasty things he did to his people (because if you believe in it, everyone on earth is his creation) Seppukakke: You know what happened around the time between the New Testament and the Old Testament? Seppukakke: He got laid.
<kinzey> i want to go out with a girl <kinzey> and lay in the field <kinzey> real romatic like <kinzey> and just stare at the full moon <kinzey> and she'll say something along the lines of "the moon's so beautiful tonight" <kinzey> and i'll just be like <kinzey> "that's no moon... THAT'S A BATTLESTATION!!!" <kinzey> and then run to the car and leave her ass there <Chris> wow
<anon> Right now i'm watching this porno <anon> Asian dude gets on bus full of white highschool girls and gets raped <anon> I've been on a school bus before and this didn't happen. I'm beginning to think that porn isn't based on true stories.
ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris. ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.
[Gnimish is working out how to go home to usa from austria for christmas] * Gnimsh is frustrated by airlines <PeterPowell> lol <PeterPowell> dont fly? <Gnimsh> should I swim back? <Gnimsh> take a train? <Gnimsh> DRIVE?! <sari> boat? <Gnimsh> wrong season <Gnimsh> I looked on 3 different sites. <PeterPowell> why not stay where you are..?:p <Gnimsh> visa's up on the 25th of july <Gnimsh> if they deport me for free, sure
<cannibal> Im playing tetris, and why won't the square pieces spin like the others? <therion> ...
Blood Reaper: on a scale of 1 to 10 Blood Reaper: how old do you think michael jackson's boyfriend is?
<Tscully> It's Christmas. We show up at my grandmas house. I'm 14. <Tscully> It comes time to open the presents, she brings out this little square-shaped flat present, wrapped in christmas paper. <Tscully> I wonder what it is, what joyous gift from grandma could be so small in volume? <Tscully> I open it, and see the words "AOL Internet Trial CD" on the cover of a cardboard disc holder, with a 14-day AOL trial CD inside. <Tscully> Confused, I asked her what it was. <Tscully> She proudly proclaimed "I've bought you fourteen days of free internet!" <Tscully> And that's why I hate christmas.
<Hef> correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't holy water just water that has a prayer said over it? <Tribolthree> holy water is water blessed by a priest, nothing special or added -_- technically he could bless the water coming from a pipe <Tribolthree> so like you could have a fountain of holy water <Hef> the priest would probably get tired of the constant blessing <Hef> and run out of mana
<apples> the program 'apt-get' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: apt-get install apt <fuchoo> lol
TbG: heh TbG: I hate that TbG: I put all of my pr0n in a passworded .rar TbG: and forgot the password.
<Deltantor> Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a female that has a small son? <f0rked_> I prefer a small daughter <grnp> I prefer a smaller son <ChrisHansen> I prefer that you both have a seat over there.
<Zombait> By the way, why the hell does windows tell you to say "okay" to everything? <Zombait> Clearly the responses used there were created by married men
<vahnsin> A bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer and . . . . a packet of peanuts." The barman says "Why the big pause?" <NikEy> it took me literally 20 minutes to fucking understand this joke goddammit
drool: i did a bit of an audit one month and discovered i had spent $600 on alcohol so i gave it up drool: the auditing, not the alcohol
<Gamer> Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down.
Inflames: Dude, my sister had sex with some guy 15 minutes before he was 18. Then she called me and told me. Inflames: I was like, wtf? I don't wanna know that. Sandman: wow Sandman: She doing anything February 17th at 11:45pm?
<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot. <Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him. <Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had: <Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly." <dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
<tgr> i told my girlfriend that she's "math girl, doer of math: unable to integrate with society, only with functions of x" <tgr> and guys, this is why she's my girlfriend. she said: <tgr> "i could do a u substitution..."
<@J^raxis> Some people have some weird fetishes. Which is fine. Then they take photos of them, which is not.
<kumaro> i got home for a terrible day at work so i decided to take a quick shower. <kumaro> so i got in, took my clothes off and turned the shower on <kumaro> like usual, i danced around and made a mohawk with my hair <kumaro> it was going great until i let out a big rip <kumaro> man, it was horrible <kumaro> im not even kidding <kumaro> i coulndt take the smell so i was held my breath <kumaro> after maybe 40 secs, i gasped for air not realizing the shower was still on <kumaro> so i inhaled a lot of water right <kumaro> i was coughing like crazy then BAM! <kumaro> i slipped on the shampoo bottle and hit my head on the side of the bathtub and i was knocked out cold <kumaro> to make a long story short, i woke up 40 mins later naked with my mom slapping me in the face telling me to wake up. <dvo> wow, that sounds really kinky <kumaro> talk about a horrible day
(Andrzej) I had a waking dream about a tsunami once (Andrzej) except the tsunami was made out of clowns. (Andrzej) and I was 5 (Andrzej) I didn't sleep that night
<ndruo> i'm usig my onscreen keyboard <ndruo> i's very triksies <ndruo> he ltters re vry mall <NeroMan> Translation: The letters are very small. <ndruo> this will enhance my FPS skills <SuperJoe> What's the translation for that? <NeroMan> Translation: This will enhance my sexual ability. <ndruo> i hte you. <ndruo> GOD <NeroMan> Translation: I love you, GENERAL ZOD <ndruo> iffclt is this <ndruo> :( <NeroMan> Translation: This is difficult to the point I am saddened <SuperJoe> General Zod is pretty cool, I'll admit. <ndruo> 8=======D translte this <NeroMan> Translation: "My penis is small enough that I can make a life size depiction of it using IRC text."
<+JimBastard> you wouldnt believe what just happened <+JimBastard> i've been tracking my macbook all day on fedex, gets signed for by "One CHILETA" at 3pm...while im at work <+JimBastard> turns it was misdelivered....TO THE MARCY PROJECTS IN BROOKLYN <+JimBastard> A BRAND NEW LAPTOP <+JimBastard> so what did jim bastard do? <+JimBastard> I put on a button up shirt, black leather jacket, kakhis, and a dress shoes <+JimBastard> went to the address <+JimBastard> and pretended i was a detective <+JimBastard> laptop is sitting on their desk <+JimBastard> "Maam I'm here about a misdelievered package" <+JimBastard> "We know its here" <+JimBastard> "We just want it back, or else I'm going to have to come back with a warrant" <+JimBastard> "and no one wants that" <+JimBastard> never underestimate the power of a well dressed well spoken white man in the hood <+JimBastard> the guy took one look at me as he was walking towards the door....turned around and came back with the package
<Archie> thanks to opera for the wii, i can now watch youtube on my tv <Archie> we have gone full circle
<Blee> i went downtown for halloween and we saw a midget <Blee> and this guy was like "THAT COSTUME IS AWESOME" <Blee> oh it was horrible but everyone laughed
<Dark_Fox> Wheee.. Hooray for USB2.0's slow ass read/write bandwidth <Dark_Fox> I get to watch my mod compile at the blazing speed of a snail <Zail_Dark> snails are interesting <Dark_Fox> I don't think they make for good eats, though <Zail_Dark> what if it were a giant snail that was eating you? <Dark_Fox> then i would be in soviet russia