hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#105419 [ + | - ] 528
<Spyduh> wtf happened to dictionary.com
<Spyduh> oh i spelt it wrong
#105413 [ + | - ] 296
<floop> now... a 22mp camera?  i'm stoked.
<irving> 22? why not just carry the scenery around with you?
It'd be cheaper and smaller.
#105388 [ + | - ] 59
Lint: *beep* thank you for visitint ghte #macintosh store, we
are currently replenishing our inventory of "you are a lozar
get lost" shirts. press 1 to continue in statement, press 2
for an argument, press 3 for abuse.
#105377 [ + | - ] 24
<Radamanthys> BTW, necrophilia is the one who has a friendship
with the dead, pedophilia is the one who has a friendship with
the children, but, how are called those who have a friendship
with animals?
<FlareonAtma> rada: "mexicans"
<Radamanthys> atma- ;x
#105373 [ + | - ] 307
<`dsx-efnex> yeah counterfeiting canadian money is about as
useful as cloning the french
#105368 [ + | - ] 164
<imagine> oh god
<imagine> im a loser
<imagine> someone was messaging me on aim
<imagine> and i sent something back, but they signed off
<imagine> then i noticed a mistake in my typing
<imagine> and i corrected it
<imagine> even though they had signed off
<imagine> :(
#105366 [ + | - ] 371
<@Hele-WritingQs> DO I HAVE A HARD NINTENDO QUESTION
<kiwiman> Is the answer Sega
<@Hele-WritingQs> ...
* @Hele-WritingQs crumples up his sheet of questions
#105364 [ + | - ] 265
<bonch> Any recommended strategies for egging a house?
<nastsmom> yes
<nastsmom> first buy some eggs
#105358 [ + | - ] 253
belgarion|ESC: what u mean what am i on
belgarion|ESC: im on poverty, its like life but with less
money
#105356 [ + | - ] 527
Ericjericj: bunny is a funny word
Ericjericj: funny bunny
Ericjericj: bunnybunnybunny
Ericjericj: funnyfunnyfunnybunnybunnybunny
Ericjericj: bunnyfunnybunnyfunnybunnyfunny
PeyoteGuacomole: You got into my meth again, didn't you?
#105354 [ + | - ] 152
<Tian> Insulting Ohio is like making fun of the retarded kid
at school
#105353 [ + | - ] 2016
<TheVirus> So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She
dropped
by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of
brownies and a video
tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so
I start eating
the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through
it, it cuts to
her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth,
she looks at the
camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the
brownies" - and spits
the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix.
<alexandr-> you didn't keep eating the brownies did you?
<TheVirus> sure did
<TheVirus> i was hungry
#105351 [ + | - ] 257
<Simpsoid> sand0 i dont mean to sound like a cunt but you are
gayer than a bag full of butterflies
#105350 [ + | - ] 333
<dora> I got one of those new penus razors
<rigel> ...
<dora> shit, I meant venus
<dora> BAD typo
<KAb0rN78> p and v are not even next to each other..
<rigel> now we all know what she's thinking about
<dora> :P
#105344 [ + | - ] 417
PlasmaPhire: the definition of irony...
RFizzyWig: what
PlasmaPhire: people are sharing Kazaa Lite, the one that's not
free, on regular Kazaa
RFizzyWig: hahaha
#105340 [ + | - ] 58
[Bords] im sick of ppl making fun of "uranus"
[Kirby] yeah me to.
[Kirby] Hey! Let's rename it!
[nosebleed] let's call it urrektum
#105339 [ + | - ] 13
[nosebleed] the only good thing about t.a.t.u. are that theyre
lesbians
#105337 [ + | - ] 426
<MpTaNk> today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and
my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
#105336 [ + | - ] 176
<SypaNick> You get fischer price sql with MS
<SypaNick> My first SQL server.
#105334 [ + | - ] 243
<RanmaGuy> you know what would be a great logo for rice
pudding
<RanmaGuy> a tall black man with an asian hat working the rice
fields
<RanmaGuy> as a whiteman rides a horse carrying a whip
<xv0wind0vx> that's so utterly racist even the KKK would be
offended.
#105332 [ + | - ] 382
(Lestat): I wish you didn't agree with me.
(Lestat): It makes me think I might be wrong.
#105331 [ + | - ] 77
(Oolong): i don't really want to seduce a midget, unless he's
hot
#105325 [ + | - ] 212
Camman2003: like real life duck hunt
LpInKyD: yeah where you can shoot the annoying dog
Camman2003: yeah\
Camman2003: but dont you lose points for that?
LpInKyD: not in real life
#105324 [ + | - ] 206
<Chaz> What kind of backwards society do you live in?
<Renzian> It's called Canada.
#105320 [ + | - ] 291
[Participle] Ever since I saw bukkake, I can't eat cinnamon
rolls anymore...
[Participle] Thanks a lot, Japan!
#105318 [ + | - ] 728
<dj`rayray[eN]> If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that
Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
#105310 [ + | - ] 178
<Ciserock> anyways, im flooding your channel cuz your gay and
mReD's gay
<Sinistarr> Oh no, a flood of one line every 5 seconds!
Whatever will my 300bps connection do!?
#105296 [ + | - ] 56
<evilpie> what the fuck is wtf
<cardcheat> World Trade Federation
<SteamedHams> world trade fire
<cardcheat> Women That Fuck
<SteamedHams> Wow That's Funny
<cardcheat> Well, Try Farting
<SteamedHams> What The Nigger
<cardcheat> as a respected leader in the african-american
community, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using
that word
<SteamedHams> hey it'll get me on bash
#105295 [ + | - ] 115
<DigitalChaos> ifi eightball shows up, tell him i'm lookin for
him :p
* Quits: DigitalChaos
<acid88> do i look like aol instant messenger to you?
#105289 [ + | - ] 252
<involution> yeah, my code is so fucking clean, and looks
wicked good
<involution> but usually never works
<archimedes> same here
#105288 [ + | - ] 171
* Luigi30 sets mode -mirc.lameness #gamecube
* You were kicked by Xenobyte (colors/gay script)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #gamecube
* Rejoined channel #gamecube
<Luigi30> How can a script be gay?
<Luigi30> Scripts are asexual
<Luigi30> :P
* You were kicked by Xenobyte (General Lameness)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #gamecube
* Rejoined channel #gamecube
<Luigi30> That's better.
#105284 [ + | - ] 279
<juicy_J> i have a question for you goose
<GooseThe> k
<juicy_J> pay $500 to get a female to give you oral, or free
from a homeless man named steve
<GooseThe> 500
<juicy_J> suppose you only have 10.35 and a pack of smarties
<CpuMan2001> uh
<CpuMan2001> get a prostitute with diabetes
#105283 [ + | - ] 320
<NicNac`> well, i heard that looks could kill
* NicNac` looks at sexmen
*** Quits: sexmen (Ping timeout)
<NicNac`> !!
<Amaltea> WOAH!!!
[11:50] <Amaltea> a killer look!
#105279 [ + | - ] 202
< chris> Meanwhile, I am participating in all that is unholy
and rightly hated
< chris> Namely, I am writing a Java Applet that runs in a
browser and is controlled by JavaScript
<@phessler> hahaha
* chris commits hara-kiri to minimize the dishonor to his
family
< chris> phessler: Yeah, but the thing is: this is way better
than what I was doing before, which was Flash coding
< chris> Flash, Java and JavaScript -- all in a day's work
< chris> Incidentally, I am looking for a new job...
#105270 [ + | - ] 375
<conlusio> besides, I'll do something stupid soon myself I'm
sure
<Irlut> conlusio: true, true :)
<conlusio> oh fuck
<conlusio> I just did it
<conlusio> I cut up the brand new fucking credit cards instead
of the old ones
<conlusio> talk about instant fucking karma
#105267 [ + | - ] 911
<[HZ]Mitlancer> Dont talk about death.... please my
grandfather just died
<[HZ]Mitlancer> No serious he did just die....
<[HZ]Mitlancer> In a way im quite proud of him
<[HZ]Mitlancer> he died having sex to my grandma, he is 93
years old and was getting his thing on
<[HZ]Mitlancer> anyways my grandma said "We were doing it on
sunday morning, it was sunday cause he could use the church
bells to pace himself"
<[HZ]Mitlancer> i think he would be alive today if an icecream
van didnt go past
#105266 [ + | - ] 40
<Jamon> The last time I stuck my dick into a stuffed animal,
stuffing got stuck in the hole..that just plain sucked.
#105260 [ + | - ] 130
<Hydra> Gary Coleman's the shit...
<int> ...
<rizen> yeah, he's about the size and coloration of a turd
#105259 [ + | - ] 203
<Zenholder> JavaScript kicks ass
<Nanobot> JavaScript sucks ass
<Nanobot> You were off by two letters
#105257 [ + | - ] 61
<Nanobot> My school has a zero-tolerence policy for racism
<Nanobot> No niggers allowed
#105254 [ + | - ] 412
[17:36] <Darric> lol, Rick, according to the stats I'm
responsible for ending conversations on 5 different
occassions. =P
[18:43] <Darric> You guys are doing this on purpose...
#105252 [ + | - ] 498
<Shun2> woot
<Shun2> I found the last GTA3 hidden package
<slm> wow, welcome to two years ago
<The359> lol
<slm> Are you gonna beat bowser next?
<Shun2> dude
<Shun2> he's tough
#105249 [ + | - ] 430
<gore> man
<gore> i wouldnt be caught dead with a necropheliac
#105248 [ + | - ] 172
* SniperDave thinks the middle of a public swimming pool
during open hours is an impractical place for lesbian rape
<Kazimierz> yeah, at least have the decency to make it an open
air swimming pool
<Kazimierz> they just have no idea of realism in anime
#105247 [ + | - ] 199
<Celestar> note to self: Next person who wants to talk me into
buying his firewall by telling me that my computer broadcasts
an IP address will be ball-hung
#105245 [ + | - ] 404
<Halibut> Oh dear
<Halibut> I just tried to swat a fly with my cursor
#105244 [ + | - ] 401
<ShamansMystery> odd, i'm ignoreing msn and mygf is online and
not bitching at me for ignoring her
<CyberDoc> Mayb shes cybering with someone else Shaman hehe.
* bacon03 slowly closes msn
#105242 [ + | - ] 170
<toaster> Whats' the worst thing about having a heart/lung
transplant ?
<toaster> Coughing up somebody else's phlegm
#105240 [ + | - ] 314
<@bort13> I don't have my virginity, but I still have the box
it came in
#105238 [ + | - ] 282
<feral> woo hoo..... i knew watchin MacGyver all these nights
would pay off <feral> i just rewired the end of my cat5 cable
with a pocket knife and a safety pin