[@CadWork] I used to be afraid to eat bananas at the office because we had a known homosexual in my dept
<SpitZ> this sms was sent by a friend of mine <SpitZ> Sally mr. pls,2wedding <SpitZ> What's that supposed to mean? <crazhee> i think it read as "Sally mist'er period. please comma to wedding"
<ExS> McDonalds <ExS> "Mick-Don-Ulds" <ExS> A handy substitute for food, in the same way that piss is a handy substitute for fresh drinking water. <ExS> Dude: "Why are you holding a turd in your hand? OH MY GOD, DON'T PUT THAT TURD IN YOUR MOUTH!!!!" <ExS> Other dude: "It's McDonalds." <ExS> Dude: "Oh! Can I have a bite?"
Kiache Majere: Hey, want to go see a movie later? Kiache Majere: Do you suck cock? Der Zwitter Affe: yes Der Zwitter Affe: shit i mean yes to the movies
<bfdd> i heard the mcdonalds commerical say special sauce <bfdd> and i thought "ill give em some special sauce" <kcl822> heh <bfdd> and then i realized <bfdd> i was talking dirty to a tv commerical <bfdd> and felt ashamed of myself
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> im from uganda <@cylyk> interesting <@cylyk> i'm canadian! <@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> actually im not from uganda <@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> where is canada? <@swolf> its an american expansion pack
<AnaloG-KiD|EatingIsDope> icy has a personality? <Prince_C> yeah its called a down syndrome
<ToiletDuc> I remember when I first came to the realization that I was a geek.... I came home from working on a router lab all day at school, picked up the phone, and dialed the IP address for Router C
<Ali_> no canadian cars eh? <Egg_> no <Egg_> i don't think there's a canadian made car <Egg_> lol <Egg_> that would be cool if there was <Egg_> we'd have shitty animal names though <Egg_> like the Ford Canadian Goose <Egg_> or the Chevy Beaver <Egg_> man <Egg_> i'd so drive a Chevy Beaver
<Terra> there i was at a donkey stall, there was a sign there saying in english : would u like to ride on your own ass? <Terra> so i was like ?? <UPC_Nemo> Like? <UPC_Nemo> Did you ride the badass assride? <zuhrich_> lol
<The_Defiance> who cares... i mean really, illiterate people on a text based chat program would be almost as bizarre as a blind optician <My3blka> Def, it's commonplace, it's called AOL
<jgannon> Quicktime 0wnz... if you have a Mac. :-) <PatrickD> so where can I go to download a Mac? ;-) <jgannon> PatrickD: www.goatse.cx <jgannon> Wow... I haven't said THAT in a long time. <PatrickD> somehow that version of the Mac never worked well for me <jgannon> Yeah... too many wide open ports.
*** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc <Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc? <Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch! <screevo> Doesnt that hurt? <Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!
<Eyal> i've been having a dilemma <Eyal> what are better to play with <Eyal> boobs or balls? <Fidel-> boobs <hex-> boobs <Eyal> i mean, when they're yours <Fidel-> balls <hex-> balls
<@Shively> my last college had a guy who was smearing feces on the bathroom walls <+PickleHead> ewww <@Shively> yea well the guy at our college was becomming so popular that the student goverment put an article out on him <+PickleHead> have you seen the book called Brown spots on the walls by "hooflung pooh"? <+PickleHead> :P <@Shively> he said he would stop if he could have a spot for somehting he wanted to say <@Shively> so they gave it to him and he defended it as an art form <+PickleHead> LMAO <+PickleHead> you can't be serious <@Shively> saying that feces drawn on walls is an expression of fecal art <@Shively> so <+PickleHead> ...................................... <+PickleHead> fecal... art.... <@Shively> the janitors responded with their own article
<FireEgl> so hurngy =( <tito> why don't you eat your dick? <tito> heh <FireEgl> I need something more filling.
<The_Kirbinator> 3000 mexicans dies yesterday........ 5 car pile-up on the I-10
<Legion> touching yourself leeds to blindness <beej> heh, and spellin problems, apparently <beej> ...omfg
<poppycat> well..I dont have a vibrator any more but yes...he was called mister buzzy and he used to squirm and vibrate across the floor at great speed <kirsy> you let your vibrator play on the floor? <poppycat> yes..I didnt get much out of using it so I decided to let it amuse me by racing it <Yasui> "GO MR BUZZY! beat that other vibrator! you can do it! "
<Da_Wrecka> The guns cost £10. Considering the guns can be used in other games too that's not bad at all. <SLowry05> yeah wtf is that thing in front of hte numbers <Da_Wrecka> And it's still cheap. <Da_Wrecka> It's called a "pound sign" <SLowry05> oh you're chinese?
jason: i used to always get free pizza hut for reading books and shit :o/ jason: my family depended on my book reading to provide dinner
<Ariakas> What's white, black, and red all over and has difficulty passing through a revolving door? <Dolands> A nun with a spear through her head!
<Ariakas> HAHAHA <Ariakas> Look what happened on my MUD <Ariakas> SylphW leaps into the Lynx fighting stance. <Ariakas> MyAss slinks into the Ferret fighting stance. <Ariakas> SylphW's strike does UNSPEAKABLE THINGS to MyAss!
<fade> Dear France, <fade> Bite Me <fade> Signed, <fade> Fade <Queued> Dear Fade, <Queued> We surrender <Queued> Love, <Queued> France
* RE_away just taped himself waving a broomstick and changed it into a lightsaber with the help of Video Editing Software <RE_away> How productive <RE_away> Now to do the same thing with my penis
<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH <YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER. * YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.) * YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined # <YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF
<crhyme> I made a windchime out of used condoms <soop> does it go "slap phlap wap" <soop> in the wind? <sunrinse> crhyme: sounds more slappy than chimey <soop> or does it more of an aromatherapy thing <crhyme> well its mostly just for style <crhyme> its also a great way to dry out your condoms
<Nate> The Americans spent 5 years and 10 million dollars to develope a pen that would write in space, freezing cold, extreme heat, and in zero gravity. <Nate> The Russians used a pencil
buservt: I was trying to find a tape downstairs, and I have diarhea, and I had to shit really bad, and I saw a copy of austin powers, and there was a picture of fat bastard on it when he is trying to eat mini me, and I thought (in fat bastards voice) "stay in my butthole" and I laughed so hard I shit all over myself buservt: another pair of shorts ruined
<padnaebaen> fuck me i love irc <spanky> yes, its the distilled essence of humanity <spanky> without the odour
<AGaeris> And what were you doing? Oh yeah. Cybering. <AGaeris> CYBERING LIKE RABBITS WITHOUT A CAUSE.
<khanjackalmoreau> i knew a kid who dressed up as a goth leprechaun for halloween <khanjackalmoreau> all black outfit, with a grayscale rainbow, and a pot full of cure albums
<Dracon> I saw a mormon crash his bike into a power pole <Dracon> that was grand :D <NaKeD> LOL <html> heHaHehAHehAeh :D <Dracon> I walked past and said "Not even God saw that one coming... well done tiger!"
<fruchtig> Doctors are so evil. They tell you to get in a certain position, hide behind a wall, and let YOU soak up a few x-rays. The doctor thinks, "Just stay there while I go hide behind this wall and press this button for a moment while hysterically laughing at you." And then you see that radioactive symbol on the machine surrounding your head and think, "Oh joy!"
<BiZZY> GOD DAMNIT! <Strom> ? <BiZZY> only doctor close to me that will check me under title 19 is my ex g/f's mom <Strom> ...so? <BiZZY> I know her really well <BiZZY> kind of odd, I'd be having my groin checked <Strom> i imagine that would make you more comfortable than having a stranger prod your groin <BiZZY> no I'd rather have someone I don't know that I won't probly see again do it <BiZZY> than someone whose daughter used to play with the same area
<Repent> I hate it when I'm the only one what chats in the room. Cause then I'm just hearing myself blabber. <stugster> we hate it when you chat in the room in general
<Fury> fappathon .. wonder if i can get that registered as a raising money thing <Fury> "come and compete in this years annual fapathon! Raise money to help the blind!"
<tabooli> A drunken friend recently mispronounced "continental drift," and it came out sounding like "cunnilingual drift." We brainstormed a few meanings for cunnilingual drift before settling on this one: When a person's tongue drifts down to a woman's anus, on purpose or by accident, during an intense session of cunnilingus.
<ecoli> i remember the girl who lived next to mea <ecoli> and we saw pictures in my dad's uh. magazines. <ecoli> "THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN, LET'S TRY THAT." <ecoli> i think that was also her first golden shower experience, heh. at that age, i figured that was the only liquid that came out of there.
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> DRUGS ARE BAD <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> unless you are sick <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or depressed <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or having trouble sleeping <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need to stay awake <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need a little inspiration <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to win a sporting event <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to look cool <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you're just not feeling 100% <SUPERHAPPYDUDE> but other than that they are BAD
< Mennonite> hey docfu < Mennonite> I had a mindblowing last four days < Mennonite> did you? < docfu> Menno well, i had a headblowing in there too < docfu> to the point where I started to lose oxygen to my brain and become eurphoric... < TenBaseT> docfu: when that happens it's time to loosen the belt.
<^Melchior^> MY NAMES BUSH!... HELP MY FIND IRAQ'S NUCLEAR WEAPONS, ORDER YOUR VERY OWN "FIND MR. SADDAMS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION DETECTION KIT", Kit Includes: Darts and a Map