hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#162004 [ + | - ] 403
customer24601: what's that sound?
macholyoke: me banging my head against my desk.
customer24601: why are you banging your head against the desk.
macholyoke: so I can speak to you in terms you'll understand,
you retard.
#161969 [ + | - ] 249
<Taslos>  I know there are no life gaurds on the gene pool,
but God damn it there aught to be at least a few sharks in the
water.
#161963 [ + | - ] 257
Cynicisity: My best friend said that going to Purdue is like
having unprotected sex; it feels great to get in, but you're
pissed that you came.
#161897 [ + | - ] 631
<Kris> I tried to use an ouija board as a mouse-pad once, but
my stupid <censored>ing mouse kept opening diablo2 when I
wasn't watching
#161881 [ + | - ] 471
<-- aroariaN has quit (Quit: Connection Reset by Mexicans with
wirecutters)
#161880 [ + | - ] 391
<sta-hi> YOU DONT SCARE ME ENCLAVED
<sta-hi> I EAT HOMOS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST
<sta-hi> er..
#161877 [ + | - ] 321
<FunnyPants> Do i look dumb or am i really dumb?
<Mr...> both...
<FunnyPants> I dont get it?
#161876 [ + | - ] 622
<Hotwire> Crap. i hate having the flu.
<Bananarama> y?
<Hotwire> i sneezed, banged my head on the table, knocked my
coffee over onto my keyboard then as i picked the cup and what
coffee was left in it, i sneezed again, and dropped the mug
right onto my nuts.
<Hotwire> 'WARNING! Illness can cause sterility'
#161868 [ + | - ] 377
* GM_Axis swings around a drop kicks Ras
* Ras backflips
* HairLeMair looks ambient
* GM_Axis strikes fighting pose
<GM_Axis> FIGHT!
<Ras> you cant win
<Ras> because I...
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Ras
<GM_Axis> DAAAAAMN!
<Ras> Am the one
* Ras flies away, doing his superman thing
#161847 [ + | - ] 732
<Cherky> god school sucks
<Cherky> well what i mean by that is "God, school sucks." not
"God school,  sucks"
<Cherky> god school would be pretty cool
<Cherky> get to learn how to create planets and stuff
<Cherky> and smite people
#161834 [ + | - ] 352
Fileman  i slept like a baby last night
DuFF  suckin your thumb and shittin the bed?
#161714 [ + | - ] 1032
<SKS_Lover> some people call me the space cowboy
<SKS_Lover> yeaaaah
<SKS_Lover> some people call me the gangster of looove
<SKS_Lover> SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAUUUURICE
<Moe_Rahn> Some people want to hit you with a brick.
#161626 [ + | - ] 194
<miksa> I remember the first time I went shitting in the woods
at army. I still have nightmares of how the mosquitos atacked
my balls X(
#161531 [ + | - ] 512
<@Kaelic> my arm hurts from bowling
<@Kaelic> you would think it is use to this kind of stress
<@Orca> ...no comment
* @Orca isn't going to take as obvious a shot as that one ;p
<@Kaelic> I'll leave that to be interpreted as each sees fit
:)
<@OWK> It's probably used to handling smaller balls.
#161525 [ + | - ] 329
ILOVEKAZAA (java@81.109.64.QK00=) has joined. «25 people»
<@Infinik> ILOVEKAZAA: Hello, I work for the RIAA. Your
computer address has been logged.
<ILOVEKAZAA> FUCK
ILOVEKAZAA «java@81.109.64.QK00=» has Quit iRC (User exited)
#160434 [ + | - ] 60
<Bruce_MacCulloch> ever hear the saying "if you cant say
something nice, dont say anything"? well, I have a corollary
to that - it goes "if you cant say something meaningful, go
away or be quiet"
#160409 [ + | - ] 1203
<Ettin> Heeey, Lyrai
<Ettin> Hypotheeetical queestion for you
<Ettin> If you geeeet seemen on thee keeyboard, wwould it
breeak it?
<Ettin> (Sorry, my "E" keey is sticky)
#160120 [ + | - ] 549
<redoz> it should be illegal to release games in the middle of
midterms
#160111 [ + | - ] 504
<+coondawg> the creativity used in porn title naming if
applied correctly could probly cure cancer
#159925 [ + | - ] 395
rennsportt: im wishin i would just go ta bed
rennsportt: i got a 9am
Kilik423: why don't you
rennsportt: tryin to install software  i need tomorow off a
network drive
rennsportt: installed it earlier
rennsportt: but din work
rennsportt: so im tryin again
rennsportt: if it dont work this time, im givin up
Kilik423: heh
Kilik423: you know what you need?
rennsportt: whats that
Kilik423: more cowbell
#159746 [ + | - ] 694
<Zeion> mints must be very profitable
<Palmetto> what are you talking about?
<Palmetto> mints are government institutions
<Palmetto> they don't make any money
<Zeion> yes they do
#159585 [ + | - ] 330
- (JustHalf) #boards != warez?
- (kairo) try #boardz
- (kairo) if it ends in 'z' , its gotta be illegal
#159533 [ + | - ] 535
<Mangusta> it's so quiet.... I could download the sound of a
pin dropping
#159300 [ + | - ] 944
ieyeasu: Many college students are liberals.
ieyeasu: But liberalism != communism.
vinnie: I know, I was just lumping everyone together in a
convenient group
vinnie: gah... has my text gone all italics?
ieyeasu: Ack!
ieyeasu: ITALICS!
ieyeasu: Ironically, in a convo about communism, you've
started slanting right.
#158857 [ + | - ] 520
<Nigel> How many babies does it take to paint a house?
<Nigel> Trick question. It really depends on how hard you
throw them.
#158773 [ + | - ] 355
<Iced_Eyes> Hi, Renegade.
<Renegade> s4wp 1c3d_1z?!?!?!?!?
<Renegade> sorry, i had to counteract your grammer
#158342 [ + | - ] 1615
<goatasaur> what do you call a black guy flying an airplane?
<blah> i refuse to anwser that
<blah> im probably wrong
<goatasaur> a PILOT, you racist
#158265 [ + | - ] 215
<UnZ1P> imac is guilty pleasure :/
<Ravvy> yeah, like getting head from another man
#158246 [ + | - ] 713
<Spektor> A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a
check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket
and tried to 'write' with it.
<Spektor> Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer
with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great...
some asshole's got my pen."
<MikeYb0y> Not another life story Spektor!
#158059 [ + | - ] 1774
<Ben> good weather for mowing my ass...
<Ben> er...
<Ben> "good weather for mowing" my ass
#157819 [ + | - ] 460
<codive> geez, can't computers GUESS what i want by now?
<syberghost> codive: sure, that's why you keep getting spam
for animal pr0n.
#157328 [ + | - ] 640
<babywafn> ew
<babywafn> all they had was
<babywafn> diet caffeine free pepsi twist
<babywafn> which is basically pepsi's way of saying 'FUCK YOU'
#157124 [ + | - ] 1343
<Merlin> according to Time-Warner, if you channel surf or mute
commercial breaks you are a thief
<Merlin> so lemme see, if I download MP3s the RIAA hates me,
if I dub a movie off HBO the MPAA hates me, if I skip
commercials the TV execs hate me...
<Merlin> am I allowed to store leftover pizza in the fridge
and eat it the next day, or will Pizza Hut sue me?
#157116 [ + | - ] 368
<phluid> I won't program in java anymore
<phluid> I'm not Marxist and don't believe in classes.
#156875 [ + | - ] 611
< jonnyLost> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling
slimfast into Ethiopia
#156864 [ + | - ] 1867
<Hynox> Have you actually ever had sex matthias?
<matthias> Ask my children :P
<Hynox> .....
<Hynox> you have sex with your children?
#156859 [ + | - ] 1260
<stenzel> fuck you dude, i aint answering any more of your
shitty questions
<moomin_two> not even this one?
<stenzel> no
<moomin_two> ha, dumbass
* stenzel (~stenzel@***) Quit (fucker)
#156815 [ + | - ] 2108
(@Impure1NZ): Anyone else notice that 'strap on' spelt
backwards is 'no parts'?
#156771 [ + | - ] 1053
Amy_Lynne.: Oh you hate your job? Theres a support group for
that, its called EVERYBODY and they meet at the bar.
#156506 [ + | - ] 181
Major_Tom [~icechat@146.85.0.0] has joined #slashdot
< Major_Tom> whats up guys?
< res0> obviously not our signal to noise ratio.
#156323 [ + | - ] 682
<exodus> When i'm 18, i'm gonna d/l sooo much porn
#156313 [ + | - ] 1493
<Birk> Today this guest speaker came to our class to talk to
us about the local college and the programs they offer.
<Birk> so he goes around the rooms asking people what they
want to major in
<Birk> one kid goes "Ii'm not sure yet, I'll either be a
Computer Programmer or a Priest"
<Birk> and I'm like " Either way you won't get laid"
<Birk> I got a 2 day suspension for saying that.
<Jaguar> LMAO !
#156271 [ + | - ] 194
* qpsk likes how tarantino does tribute movies
<qpsk> jackie brown was blaxploitation
<qpsk> kill bill is kung fu
<slightly> his next film will be an homage to public safety
films: "Duck and Cover.....with a Vengeance"
#155991 [ + | - ] 797
<NekoEttin> =^_^=
* ChibiJuke sits in his chair.
* ChibiJuke hides under the cushion.
* ChibiVile is a neko girl. :o
* NekoEttin curls up on the cushion and purrs
* ChibiJuke pulls ChibiVile in with him.
<The_Capn> Jesus H. Christ. It's like Japan crapped in here.
#155520 [ + | - ] 424
<bonch> You should write some Full House fan fiction
<Nastard> "...but little did Uncle Jesse expect to find Joey
standing alone in his room, surrounded by candles, pleasuring
himself.  He stood aghast for a moment, watching the tears
stream from Joey's closed eyes.  The soft music started to get
to him, and he found his hand rubbing against the crotch of
his pants, bringing 'little Elvis' alive for a rousing
crescendo of his own..."
#155516 [ + | - ] 378
<Nastard> i like phonics
<Nastard> one might even go so far as to say i'm hooked on
them
#155345 [ + | - ] 18
<ArchNemesis> ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
<ArchNemesis> (1) God is love.
<ArchNemesis> (2) Love is blind.
<ArchNemesis> (3) Ray Charles is blind.
<ArchNemesis> (4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
<ArchNemesis> (5) Therefore, God exists.
<sasaphrass> stevie wonder is blind, and black.... i dont
think that makes him god....
#155324 [ + | - ] 404
<_Hobbes|Stoned> I can't help but wonder if someday I'll look
back on all of this and shudder to think that it's all logged
#155268 [ + | - ] 240
<Spiral> sdfklsd;fjs;dlkfjlsd
<audiosonic> THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR KEYBOARD
<Spiral> Dude.
<audiosonic> that's better.
#155226 [ + | - ] 370
<Scarlet[away]> :/
<Scarlet[away]> im cold :(
<Scarlet[away]> my teeth are chattering lol
<SEXMACHINE> remind me not to ask for a blow job on a cold
night
<Scarlet[away]> ROFL