hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#191097 [ + | - ] 45
<DownKaos> dude I think free willy and tupac are hiding in
cuba together
#191082 [ + | - ] 330
<Feranis> Is it bad...
<Feranis> When this:
<Feranis> )=
<Feranis> Vividly reminds me of the planetary ion cannon they
had on Hoth?
<Gararion> what?
<Gararion> ah lol
<Zork> That's bad. It's a frowny-face, not an ion cannon
<Zork> dork
#191063 [ + | - ] 5055
<Toller> hey jaimer
<jaimer> hey
<Toller> i loves you sweet ass, baby
<jaimer> excuse me?
<Toller> we gonna get together an fuck tonight
<Toller> right?
<jaimer> You stupid shit
<Toller> ?
<Toller> What?
<jaimer> This is toby johnson, right
<Toller> you know it is, duh.
<jaimer> I'm doing tech support on Jamie's computer
<jaimer> I'm her father, you little shit
<Toller> hah!
<Toller> what's
<Toller> your joking right/
<jaimer> I am. I know where you live. I'm coming over to your
house now. Don't try to run, I'll find you.
<Toller> Jamie, it's not funny
<Toller> Jaime?
<psmylie> You're screwed, dude. Her dad's psycho
<Toller> fuck
<Toller> Fuck!
<psmylie> best run, boy
*** Toller has quit IRC (Quit: )
<psmylie> You're an evil bitch, Jamie.
<jaimer> lol
<psmylie> brilliant... but evil
<jaimer> he's an asshole anyways
#191037 [ + | - ] 1954
<Czarina> I've always had a hard time picturing hamsters in
the wild. I get this mental image of a horde of them devouring
a cow or something.
#190965 [ + | - ] 550
<Emokid01> I am always tempted to mumble "zerg rush" under my
breath when I see Koreans on campus.
#190832 [ + | - ] 2670
<Robohunk> A friend of mine took an exam in his French class
while on acid once. When friends asked him about it later, he
said, "I think I did pretty well. I wrote this great story
about a thunderstorm."
<Robohunk>
<Robohunk> The professor called him into his office soon
afterwards and showed him the test. It was a piece of paper
covered with the words "Noir noir noir, noir BLANC!!! noir
noir noir noir noir, noir noir noir BLANC!!!" over and over.
#190724 [ + | - ] 416
<davidbrit2> MS should change the XBox slogan.
<davidbrit2> "It's good to play together" doesn't quite cut
it.
<DevilWarrior> heh.
<davidbrit2> I think "Misery loves company" captures the
spirit of the XBox.
#190712 [ + | - ] 51
<Harl> micheal jkackson is being charged
<Harl> FINNALY
<Harl> its ironic tho
<Harl> if he goes to jail
<Harl> Its ironic, because he who sodomized children, will now
be sodomized by big men
<Rei> Lol
<Zord`r`> well did he actually sodomize the children?
<Zord`r`> and not just someone wanting alot of cash
<Zord`r`> and frame some famous singer?
<Harl> true
<Harl> ive never heard of white ugly women sodmizing little
boys
#190581 [ + | - ] 239
audiobob: dude
audiobob: 4 real
audiobob: shut up
audiobob: noone wants to look or talk about your cock
titikaka: audiobob my apache logs say otherwise
#190541 [ + | - ] 167
LordKasreyn:  Don't think of them as obituaries; think of them
as love classifieds for necrophiliac morticians!
#190535 [ + | - ] 2059
Quaestor> how frequently does a question need to be asked to
be considered a Frequently Asked Question?
Archon11> 7 times in the US and 11 in Canada. The European
Union is considering a common number of five, but Great
Britain refuses to comply and insists on using its own number,
six. China does not allow questions except in Hong Kong.
#190336 [ + | - ] 579
[@KiD_Zer0] i have to write about an incident in my life I can
describe as a natural disaster
[Sub-Zer0] your birth
#190279 [ + | - ] 665
<DY357LX> Anyone know where I can find some "good" kitten
juggling websites?
#190273 [ + | - ] 778
<Sion> does sound see if it sounds well how is it positioned
on the mp3
<Sion> haha
<Sion> wtf did i just type
#190258 [ + | - ] 250
<Taz^> i seen your picutre
<Taz^> your like what 14 or 15
<Kevin666> 14, and alot smarter then you, in meny ways
#190241 [ + | - ] 1741
<Neo-Tokyo> wouldnt you say suicide is a permenant solution to
a temporary problem?
<`[6]> I'm a Buddhist, I'd say suicide is a temporary solution
to a permanent problem.
#190199 [ + | - ] 1153
<Mooseka> IF GOD IS SO POWERFUL, WHY DID IT TAKE 7 DAYS TO
CREATE THE EARTH.
<Mooseka> AND IF IT DID TAKE 7 DAYS, HOW LONG HAS IT TAKEN TO
CREATE THE UNIVERSE?
<Mooseka> A PRETTY LONG TIME I'D THINK!
<Cef> to god a day is like a thousand years and a thousand
years is liek a day
<Cef> thats in the bible
<Mooseka> SO IT TOOK GOD 7000 YEARS TO MAKE THE EARTH?
<Mooseka> HOW THE FUCK IS HE POWERFUL THEN
<Mooseka> I COULD MAKE THE EARTH OUT OF LEGOS IN 7000 YEARS.
#190157 [ + | - ] 996
<@Tezza> ROFLOLWOALDFVGWKLDBNMKEB NEWNBCUNTBLINGLOJEVFFRILS
<+Franschie> Wow, somebody else figure the acronym out
<pdRichard> rolling on the floor laughing out loud with only a
large dick fucking very grandly within kevin's large, drunken
buttocks nearly missing kevin's eerie blood?
<@cky> lmao
<@cky> and the second part?
<@Tezza> LOL
<pdRichard> never eaten wank, never been cum under, never took
blowjobs - lying. into neverland goes laura, over jeff's evil
veranda! final fantasy really is loadsa shit.
<@cky> lol
<@Tezza> lmao
<@Tezza> Magic
#190051 [ + | - ] 1833
<+Woody```> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess"
on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
#189997 [ + | - ] 200
<Catatonia> I wonder.. how much the american soldiers who
found Saddam will get paid :)
<Andrea> catatonia, the guy who gave him up gets $25 million!
<Catatonia> phwoar!
<nibbler> its iraqi powerball
#189945 [ + | - ] 689
<General> i love it when people bitch in a bar about smoking,
though
<General> it's like "hey pal, i don't want to get lung cancer
while i'm over here getting liver disease"
#189871 [ + | - ] 930
<rade> so have u got a tree up yet?
<Selexion> like a file tree?
<Selexion> ?
<rade> a christmas tree..
#189857 [ + | - ] 1728
<Skane|Insane> some idiot has the admin pass on his porn site
as admin/admin
<Realjones> link
<Kraglar> LINK
<Skywier> url
<tran> link plz
<tran> :P
<Previa> link skane~
<ben-> HAHAHHA
<Realjones> if you dont link you are banned
#189842 [ + | - ] 725
(@Big_Daddy) that reminds me, Beer i've lost 30 lbs :D
(@nwar) thats like throwing a deck chair off the titanic :P
#189840 [ + | - ] 1267
<Kosh> in LotR all the elves sailed to the "undying lands" to
the west.  Continental drift caused those lands to move
further north and eventually they were left to spend eternity
making toys for their new red-suited overlord
#189817 [ + | - ] 795
Radish Attack: I'm so happy I could shit a kitten
#189807 [ + | - ] 1322
<sequence> Finally, in 1976, the Court held that
discrimination against men was just as much a violation of the
Constitution as discrimination against women. This decision
involved an Oklahoma statute permitting women to buy beer at
the age of 18 but denying men the same right until they
reached the age of 21.
<sequence> i wonder what the reasoning for that law was
<Blaxthos> uh
<Blaxthos> drunk girls put out
#189795 [ + | - ] 364
* Malik_Ishtar begins to get impotent
<Malik_Ishtar> :O
<Malik_Ishtar> impatient
* Malik_Ishtar dies
#189779 [ + | - ] 8
<Buckweed> Tell me who do you think would be smarter, a
surgeon or a programmer?
<UltraNewt> surgeon of course
<glix> programmer
<glix> unless he's a programmer for microsoft, then...
#189605 [ + | - ] 2637
<sjh> I'm bored, someone entertain me.
* GeminiGirl hands sjh a pretty girl to play with
<sjh> What's her name?
<GeminiGIrl> candy
<sjh> Candy is a sluts name.
<GeminiGirl> um... natalie then
<sjh> I only know one Natalie, and she's a stupid bitch
<GeminiGirl> :/ my name is natalie
<sjh> Yeah, I know. You're the only Natalie I know.
#189549 [ + | - ] 471
<Kunda> I wanna see a Jerry Springer episode where a
Scientologist gets into a scrag with a Raelian when they can't
agree which planet humans were sent to earth from
#189491 [ + | - ] 996
<Da5id> bwahahahahahaha!
<Da5id> k
<Da5id> check this stuff out
<Da5id> the sign at the student eating facility that i work at
says "babcock frozen yogurt"
<Da5id> but 'babcock' is on one line, and 'frozen yogurt' is
on the other
<Da5id> and there's two switches for the sign
<Da5id> now, one would THINK that one switch would be for
"babcock" and the other for "frozen yogurt"
<Da5id> but no
<Da5id> one switch is for "bab/frozen"
<Da5id> and the other is for "cock/yogurt"
<%Freakazoid> lol
<Da5id> we just closed, like, an hour ago
<Da5id> guess what the sign was left saying?
<Da5id> O:)
#189375 [ + | - ] 547
--> Colt (~Colt@*********.*******.net) has joined #lobby
<Colt> ............................
<Colt> ...............
<Colt> .............
<Colt> .
<Alek> .......................
<Alek> ...........
<Alek> ..
<Colt> ...
<edisk> what is this, some kind of lame winamp visualization?
#189296 [ + | - ] 328
* SLingmas sets mode: +b *!*@*
<@SLingmas> it's ok
<@SLingmas> I had subway for lunch
#189288 [ + | - ] 15
<bayoab> If i take the hard drive out, will it lose all the
information?
<Quixzlizx> not if you have a floppy drive!
#189267 [ + | - ] 161
<Alberto> Fucking women.
<Mouse> You know what else I hate?
<Alberto> Asians?
<Reverend> Me?
<Mouse> No, no.
<Mouse> Think on a wider scale.
<Alberto> Asians AND Rev?
<Reverend> Two of me?
<Mouse> The answer is everything.
<Alberto> Ah. You walking cliche.
#189236 [ + | - ] 1143
* Secuerity (GAROZEN@66.212.43.19) has joined #guns
* Secuerity (GAROZEN@66.212.43.19) has left #guns
<MrSk8r> wow a bad spellet
<MrSk8r> peller
<MrSk8r> speller
<Marcus`> lol
<MrSk8r> severs me right
<MrSk8r> serves
<MrSk8r> fuck
#189225 [ + | - ] 763
<@EFA|Kamikaze> Thou shalt hoist oneself upon thy ship of good
sportsman, For thy days of "GG" and "NICE Shot" hath past,
"GG" shalt be "BS" thy "Nice Shot" shalt be "AIMBOT!!1!1". -
Teh Book of Noob Chapter 8:12
#189209 [ + | - ] 264
<aux_> i got gigs like i got ladies
<c0al> ? ur hard drive crashed/
<c0al> ??
#189206 [ + | - ] 1203
* God
(lordalmighty@4061ecdd.yphigh01.heaven.5aa6454b.net.hmsk) has
joined #ssboards
* God was kicked by Satan (Satan)
<Satan> No.
#189197 [ + | - ] 107
<calgar> haha that's true. i beleve it's like 30% sweedish
users on dalnet
<Cola-Kattn> yes, and the other 70% is playing counter-strike
#189180 [ + | - ] 872
<[GSF]Nitro> if that hot assistant had done a tumor check on
my nads, it would have been an embarrassing experience for
both of us
<Quizical> heh
<PunMeister> lol
<The_Spaniard> excuse me sir can you do something about that
erection
<[GSF]Nitro> unless she found a tumor.. that would kill the
mood pretty fast I bet
<[GSF]Nitro> 8=============D
<[GSF]Nitro> you have cancer
<[GSF]Nitro> 8D
#189174 [ + | - ] 810
<SaBoTaGeR> A little boy walks into his parents room to see
his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees
her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has
seen, she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
<SaBoTaGeR> The son sees his Mom and asks' "What were you and
dad doing? " The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a
big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help
flatten it."
<SaBoTaGeR> "You're wasting your time." say's the boy. "Why is
that? asked his Mom, puzzled? "Well when you go shopping the
lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it
right back up"
#189167 [ + | - ] 275
<slayer4si> hey does anyone have a good version of Hackers?
<slayer4si> or can get one?
<zMonk> no, but I could mail a pointy stick you could use to
poke one of your eyes out, if that helps
#189165 [ + | - ] 211
<Yoshio> OMG
<Yoshio> MY FIREWALL
<Yoshio> IS BLOCKING
<Yoshio> PORN!!
<`Bloodlust> lmao
<Yoshio> ahh much better..
<Yoshio> although i am looking at tubgirl.
<Yoshio> ewww.
<Yoshio> that so cant be real
#189149 [ + | - ] 266
<Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star
hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in
September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese
prostitutes.
<Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations
#189055 [ + | - ] 1074
<A_Witt> it's 1:45 am and I swear I just heard somone walking
down the street playing a trumpet
#188680 [ + | - ] 1648
tigeraid: another baby?
tigeraid: jesus christ lady it's a vagina, not a clown car
#188575 [ + | - ] 379
<ogg> i'm gonna invent a cereal called raisin hell
#188572 [ + | - ] 5407
<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR =
EVERLASTING FUN