<StanM> Pussy is like MP3s <StanM> For every one who pays for it, theres thousands more getting it for free.
<Merrick> Only reason I ever payed attention in economics was so I could learn how to merchant in Runescape
<stc> Pray to God every morning that you can live. <Salman> you should also take a shower every morning so that others can live.
SayLo2MyLilFren: dude im a genesis ctnpinciotti: ? SayLo2MyLilFren: i found out how you can get by port 25 blocking ctnpinciotti: you're a what? SayLo2MyLilFren: i did it on my cousins computer ctnpinciotti: wait... ctnpinciotti: you're a what? SayLo2MyLilFren: ? ctnpinciotti: genesis? SayLo2MyLilFren: ya ctnpinciotti: ah ok, it all makes sense now. SayLo2MyLilFren: what?
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later? Steelix: He's right. insomniac: what happens in my stomach... mindule: insom: that's very interesting PixelGuru: damn PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce insomniac: haha
<TheJoeMan> requested old boss as facebook friend, i wanna see what happens <TheJoeMan> maybe she'll finally realize that i'm not on drugs and am actually like that normally
<Jared> HI Alpha!!!!OMFG ITS S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU....HOW WAS YOUR DAY??? <AlphaLemming> I'm frightened. <Jared> what. im being 'chipper' <AlphaLemming> no, you're being psychotic <AlphaLemming> it's a slightly different font
<Random> No one knows what it's like .. to be the bad man * Nebi has kicked Random from #deltaanime (Sorry to interupt but I just wanted to say what Beyonce had one of the best video of all time)
<Error1355>: Cows can feel pain, emotions, depression, etc just the same as us, so why do we have the right not to be hurt and incarcerated and they don't? What makes us so special? If it is our ability to *think* then babies and mentally handicapped adults should have no rights either. Why the discrepancy? <or_something>: well im going to start eating retarded babies to make that person feel better
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here! Stranger: [Omegle is required to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.] Stranger: Hey Stranger: I'm horny You: So it is true what they say about you?
Bkblood: Im such an idiot. There was a quote on bash of someone asking a stupid question and i looked for 30 minutes trying to reply to it :/
<Stormscape> Yo dawg we heard you like Macs so we only put one pedal in your car
<DrBob> You'll never get it. Men weren't meant to understand women. <Odin> not true. <Odin> I've managed to solve for the fundamental logic operation of women. <DrBob> It's just best to let them do what they want, so they'll let us do stuff to them. <Odin> Nono let me explain. <Odin> Women are fundamentally amplifiers. <Odin> Anything you give them expect to get back multiplied <Odin> give them money you don't have in the form of a credit card, expect a huge debt <Odin> give them a little love, and they'll give you a lot of love back <Odin> give them a little DNA in the bedroom <Odin> and they give you a baby <Odin> So if you give them crap, you'd better be ready to recieve a ton of shit
(ndrj): anyone good with sound tech here? (ndrj): if i put a pair of cheap mp3 headphones in my PC i get lots of buzzing/electric noise, but if I put decent/expensive pair in i don't. what is it that removes this, what should I be looking for when I buy a pair? :P (decx): the sennheiser logo
* Vesper is now known as CodyB <Teku> why the nick change? <CodyB> I'm teaching this hot chick how to use IRC <xanatos> ...why <CodyB> I got grounded for two weeks and I can't call anyone. I figured I could talk to her here, at least. <CodyB> be cool, I'm teaching her about channels and she might come in here <xanatos> how did you get grounded <CodyB> I locked my sister outside for three hours. <xanatos> i bet she didnt like that * StacyF has joined #randomshit <CodyB> yeah I thought my parents were going to kill me <CodyB> oh hey, there you are <Teku> So you had sex with your sister on your parents bed and they walked in on you? Wow Cody, you're lucky you only got grounded for two weeks. <StacyF> eeew you sick fuck * StacyF has left #randomshit <Teku> I know you're going to kill me later, but it was so worth it <CodyB> you motherfucker
thrasher: I'm thinking of starting a business in california thrasher: it would be a socialist abortion clinic and pot dispensary, with new gay marriage chapel kthxglhf: And dry cleaning thrasher: why dry cleaning? kthxglhf: so u can reuse coat hangers
<sparks333> no see, women in engineering are like parking spaces <sparks333> the good ones are taken and the rest are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there <pikachu> or handicapped
Alex: So I was in the doctors yesterday, when my time came a large woman walked out of his room and I walked in. He said 'God bless her, I just confirmed to her that she was morbidly obese.' Alex: I wasn't too sure what to say, but replied 'You shouldn't have told her that, the poor woman has enough on her plate.'
serpentine9: why doesnt bash.org ever accept my quotes DaveIt: bash.org has a strict policy of only accepting quotes that are either unoriginal or related to bash.org-rejection-induced frustration. DaveIt: This quote happens to be both, so we have a decent shot.
<vartopia> you're not an alcoholic til you're drinking nail polish and listerine <vartopia> that you shoplifted
ian: I've remembered the password.... ian: felt like Gandalf stood outside Moria ian: uttering every password I could remember from the last 5 years
<Funzo> can any of you guys speak french? <Time-Warp> i can <Time-Warp> i know how to say bongshure <Time-Warp> or something
<Josh> I don't understand why churches and 'family groups' spend millions of dollars a year on abstinence-only instruction when a World of Warcraft account only costs fifteen dollars a month and has a much better record of ensuring virginity.
<ianazza> jay you know if im wireless yeh <ianazza> well my son has broke his linksyst wirless adaptor <ianazza> can he use a usb memory stick while he gets a new adaptor# <JayR> a memory stick for what? <ianazza> to go wirless <JayR> a memory stick os for storing files on <ianazza> well to get on net <JayR> a memory stick is a memory stick m8 <ianazza> Oh i thoguht you cud use it as a flash drive or watever to get on net <ianazza> using my wireless connection <JayR> he in same house? <ianazza> yeh <JayR> he got a wireless dongle? <ianazza> no he broke it <JayR> no then <ianazza> ok ta <JayR> hows the wireless signal gonna get to his pc without a wireless card ot dongle? <ianazza> thought you could save the wireless connection to usb memeory stick put it in his comp and presto <JayR> £aughing My Âss Õff <JayR> no m8
<silicate> shit, it looks like it's gonna be sunny on saturday * Zally glares at you <silicate> that's not good ... for reasons, that would require a much un-needed and long story <Zally> hmm, ya ill take your word for it? <silicate> yeah, i don't feel like explaining it <Zally> Its all good <Zally> I dont feel like pretending im interested
<Catonic_lp> What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? <opticron> superman <m0j0-j0j0> Superman <Catonic_lp> Christopher Walken
<USMarine> if someone +v's me, how do I talk? <USMarine> i have the mic plugged in obviously <USMarine> do i have to push a button or something
< cunt^chocula> I think there will be Michael Jackson sightings the way there are Elvis sightings now
Marshall: A friend of mine knows a band from his hometown who played on one of the ferries that go between Finland and Sweden. When they were about to board in Stockholm, the Swedish equivalent of the DEA shows up with dogs and everything, so the guys in the band freak out 'cause they've (obviously) got their dope with them. After a few minutes of "fuck maaaan, what're we gonna do maaaaan!?", one of them goes to a Wal-Mart type store and buys a little remote-controlled helicopter. They proceed to plant the stash on it, leave it on the quay, board the boat and then use the remote to fly the drugs onto the ship
<XenThra> I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. <DevXen> Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Connor: Firefox 3.5. Download it. Andrew: Give me the top 5 reasons to download it. True: In iambic pentameter Connor: For private browsing, tear-off tabs and then some, Connor: Download Firefox three point five and see: Connor: It's using Gecko one point nine point one, Connor: And over twice as fast as Firefox three. Connor: Pwned.
<Metroid> FUCKING IDIOTS <Metroid> STUPID FUCKIGN DK AGROS 2 MOBS ON PURPOSE <Metroid> STUPID FUCKING HUNTER TRIES TO TANK MOBS AFTER HE RESSER <Metroid> STUPID FUCKING HEALER SAT THERE THE WHOLE FIGHT <Metroid> GODDAMN <Lemming|> chill out <Metroid> AND THEN THEY ALL FUCKING LEAVE <Metroid> THIS GAME ISN'T HARD ENOUGH FOR PEOPLE TO BE THIS BAD AT IT <Metroid> RRRRRRAAAAAAEEEEEEGGGGGG <Metroid> yay 7chan is back <Faer> did anyone else notice Metroid's fierce unrestrained rage was just calmed down by CP
<NimF> The lesbians next door bought me a rolex for my birthday. <NimF> I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
<echoplex> do you type by throwing chopsticks at a keyboard that is spinning or something?
<Sick_Silent> I think IRC is making me more USAian. <Sick_Silent> Perverted, racist, sexist, retarded, dumb and lazy <ATXTheKiller> You forgot fat. <Cosbydaf> *a tears runs down my cheek as I gaze into an American flag waving in the sunset, while eating Mcdonalds and watching a shitty movies* <Sick_Silent> Oh I forgot! No taste for good food
< derrida> my autocmd might raise a few eyebrows =) < scrooloose> given the amount of vim fetishism in here it may raise more than that
<Chi>: So we went to the pool hall last Wednesday... <Chi>: I ended up paying for everyone when we finished. <Chi>: Everyone asked how much it cost afterwards. <Chi>: I told them that I used my Asian powers to get no charge. <Chi>: Then on our way down the stairs... <Chi>: I jumped onto the carpet in front of the door and exclaimed... <Chi>: "Okay Abz, time to use your Arabian powers to fly us home!" <Chinh>: did it work? <Chi>: No, the carpet was black. <Chinh>: zing!
<BobbyJenkins> Any GLBT fellow Scots going to the Pride Scotia March at the end of this month in Edinburgh? <Sensationalism> I take it you are going? If I go to any Pride events this year, it'll be my first. I'm excited! <BobbyJenkins> I was going to but I found out I've got work. <Lost-Chances> Call in gay.
Thunderscreech: My nephew just got his black belt in Tae Kwan Do yesterday. Note: Apparently, it's not entirely accurate to call the ceremony a 'bar mitzvah for ninjas'.
<Kir> I have an idea! <Kir> I'm going to play a game about underage black members of the community engaging in various acts of vandalism of public property in their quest for a deeper understanding and spiritual enlightenment.
<Chapdizzle> i fucking hate when people think guys should shave their chest. Its what makes us men, suck a fat dick. shaving bodily hair is for women. my chest hair serves multiple uses such as floss, fishing line, warmth, crumb catcher, and if i wanted i could pull a shitload of it out and make a net to catch small animals or fish
<Logix> You know you watch too much porn, when you see a pussy and instantly know it's an asian pussy.
<billings> amazingly enough, putting my elbow on the keyboard isn't the proper syntax for this perl script. <jss> No, you need both elbows.
< iKBerry> man thus driving and ircing thing rocks < iKBerry> fuck brb getting pulled over -!- iKBerry [~Fox@170.206.224.54] has quit [jmIrc destroyed by the OS] < iKitsune> so, fuck < iKitsune> now i have a $250 ticket for reckless driving
<Vinny> they should build another barad-dur <Vinny> give sauron some depth perception
<fishmech_> history books in a thousand years are going to be hilarious <fishmech_> According to the great 21st Century philosopher xXx_SePhIrOtH127765_xXx,
< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels < mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary. < koala_man> I know, that's what I thought < koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V < koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V < mawlipe> ..... not what I meant.